Joke of the day! Enjoy!

The gate breaks down between heaven and hell. St. Peter comes to examine the damage, and then he calls the devil. 'That darn gate broke again,' he says. 'It's your turn to fix it.'
'Forget it,' says the devil. 'My people are too busy.'
'But we had a deal,' says St. Peter, 'and if you don't honor it, I'll have to sue you for breach of contract.'
The devil laughs. 'Sure you will. And just where do you expect to find a lawyer?'
kih kih kih! Jangan marah my lawyer friends...
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A panda walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead.
As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, 'Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!'
The panda yells back at the bartender, 'Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!'
The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: 'A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves'.
This is what i got from online dictionary. Definition of panda : A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings.
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Top 10 Reasons Computers Must Be Male

10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They`ll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on but nobody`s home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter.
truee... very true...